As much as it pains me to say it, lowering my expectations seems to be something I need to do. I know that I can sometimes have (unrealistically) high expectations of others. Its mostly due to the fact that I will drop anything if someone needs me. I shouldn’t ever think that someone will do the same for me, because I will always be disappointed.
Now, there are things that I expect from H and it is evident that I am at it once again. I really want him to woo me. To start dating me again. I want him to make me fall in love with him all over again. He did it once…I don’t know why it seems so hard for him to do it again.
The thing is, I am the one who always plans everything. I get the babysitter, I pick where we eat, I look over the calendar to see when we are available to do anything, I am the one who has planned every single date we have ever been on. The problem is, I need him to do all of that and I don’t think he knows how to.
In a perfect world, he would ask me to dinner at a restaurant we have never been to. He would tell me the exact date and time of our reservation. He would have already made arrangements for our dc to be watched so that the only detail I need to worry about it getting myself ready to go enjoy a night out. After dinner, he would take me for a walk through the downtown area (its beautiful and can be quite romantic) before we head home for the evening.
But the reality is that life’s not perfect and he’s probably going to just take me for a burger one afternoon before going to the grocery store. A glamorous life for me! :)
But I want more and although my expectations may exceed his capabilities I don’t think I am being selfish when I say that I want more than a quick trip to the local burger place.
I need to lower my expectations and be willing to accept what he is able to do. I need to somehow find satisfaction in the thrown together last minute date that I know he probably can pull off. I need to stop being so nit picky about the details and realize that perfect dates are not going to repair my marriage…just spending time together and communicating is going to help with that.